KINDRED SPIRITS - THE MIRROR BETWEEN US

“My heart recognized yours before my mind could catch up.” Unknown

Ever since I was a child, I wished I had a “me.” Someone who loved as deeply as I do, someone who saw the world like me, and someone who understood the totality of me. Recently, I met someone who came close. At first, it was like a breath of fresh air. No need to explain the slow descent into emotion, just a mutual, silent understanding. We shared very few words in our time together, but it felt like we had known each other for years. This new friend filled spaces I didn’t know were empty and shined light on shadows I didn’t realize were there. What a relief.

The closer we became, the more I realized we understood each other so well because we are similar. We are two sides of the same coin. It was a fun, freeing relief to find someone so much like me, until I realized it was like looking in a mirror. We resembled each other in all the good ways… but also in the unhealed parts. Looking within yourself is already hard, but doing it through another person is 100 times harder. There’s a level of care and sensitivity you have to have when dealing with someone else versus when it’s just you alone. Most people forget that and end up hurting the other person, because seeing those parts of themselves in human form can be uncomfortable.

I am a deep thinker, so I quickly connected the dots of what was happening. I had to figure out how to handle my uncomfortable feelings, while simultaneously making sure I didn’t shatter the person acting as my mirror for obvious reasons, like not wanting to add to someone’s hurt, but also because the person acting as the mirror is a part of me, both literally and figuratively. This person was so much like me that it was undeniable, so I had handle it with care. As I was learning from them and healing through them, they were learning from me and healing through me.

Connections like these are rare, and when you find one, it is something you should cherish and hold onto if possible. If you do meet this person for a little while and then lose them, you shouldn’t fret; your ability to look in the mirror and work on the cracks is more about you than it is about them. It would be beautiful to grow together, but your growth isn’t dependent on whether they stay. You have to remember that it took your own strength to look in that mirror in the first place, and that strength stays with you, even when the mirror is gone.

Maybe that’s what kindred spirits really are… not people who complete you, but people who show up just long enough to reflect you back to yourself, so you remember you were never searching for pieces. You were learning to see what was already whole.