While I appreciate that Father's Day is a day to glorify the dads who have put in the work to raise their child or children, I can’t help but think about those who have abandoned their roles for worldly desires.
Many people in this world have grown up with an absent father while some have grown up with a father who is still absent. I often say that, in a household, having a father who is there but is not, is more traumatic than one who isn’t. This isn’t me undermining anyone’s situation, because my heart breaks for those who have not had a glimpse of what their life could be like with two parents, but the truth of the matter is, a father who is visible but unheard is an emotional experience.
I’m sure many of us in this situation, feel this emotion. The emotion of working hard and still being dismissed, the feeling of being judged by your own parent, a feeling of false hope, damaging your future relationships because you do not know what trust is. As a young woman, I would often lean on my mother for advice and love, despite sometimes being hurt by the missing feeling of being a ‘daddy’s girl’. A lot of my friends have experienced this. I get over those moments by pulling up my big girl socks and convincing myself that I will find a man who will treat our kids with love and care, but I sometimes struggle to find what I am looking for in a guy as I never had a set example. I’m sure I will feel it when I see it.
While, many of us go through this, I write this post to remind whoever is reading this that it’s okay to feel and hurt. It is inevitable that some days your emotions will run deep, but you will find yourself in a better situation. Father’s Day may not be for us, it is for someone else, yet every day is for us, to love ourselves and forgive, forgive whatever you have endured that has caused you to be in pain, confront your emotions and let them be. Don’t let a person who has caused anger in your heart continue to do so or you will never find growth.
I say this while I still struggle but I remind myself that every tree has a day where it has no leaves. We cannot continue to isolate our hearts when we have love to give.
Happy Everyday Everyone!