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***Post specific disclaimer: I have nothing against Muslims or Christians and my family has members of both religions, this post is specific ONLY to the people who, in my opinion, are not taking religion seriously. Thank you.***

A few years ago, circa 2005, there was a trend in and around London where every Tom, Dick, Harry, John and Fred decided they had to become Muslim. I call it 'The Era of the Trophy Muslims". This trend meant that everywhere you went there were people, especially guys, who would be shouting "Salaam alaikum" ('Peace be upon you' in Arabic) across the street at each other to let everyone else who couldn't tell from the trousers tucked in their socks, the beads hanging from their necks and the 'muslim scarf' (a black and white scarf that has no relation to Islam whatsoever!) that they were Muslim! *rolls eyes*

These individuals would then use their religion as an excuse to form cliques (that could have arguably been called gangs considering the activities they took part in!) and went around forcing people to convert (sometimes at gun point!). It was clear that these individuals obviously did not take the religion very seriously, probably only stepped into a mosque once and once I even witnessed a girl remove her burqa (the garment that covers Muslim women from head to toe) and niqab (the veil that covers a Muslim woman's face) to have lunch during ramadan! (John Ruskin College alumni 05/06 please testify!)

So the trend, like most, died out and a new one seems to have now taken over. I call this "The Era of the Leisure Centre Christians". For the past few years, starting circa 2009, being Muslim has no longer been 'cool' so the new religion of choice became Christianity. Now I don't mean people who just convert and decide to join a church, I'm talking about the ones who use the 'Born Again' route to becoming 'cool'.

These people, like the Trophy Muslims before them, ensured everyone knew they were 'saved' by screaming "Jesus loves you my brother/sister" in greeting to their fellow 'saved' Christians across the street in case anyone missed the rosary around their neck and the Bible and dutiful notebook in their hand, form cliques and ostracise anyone who isn't also born again because they believe that they will be tainted by association. As a result of this, they decide to cut off all old friends that refuse to become 'saved' and after going to what seems like a maximum of three Bible studies they suddenly believe they are better than everyone and can go around judging people!

Who died and made you God? Did you miss a whole chunk of the Bible while memorizing quotes and bypass the part that said there is only one God, Christians are not to judge others and Jesus allowed prostitutes in his presence? Getting baptised by being dipped in a pool at your local leisure centre (hence the name I gave them!) does not make you holy and it surely doesn't give you a free pass to Heaven!

The thing that annoys me about these Trophy Muslims and Leisure Centre Christians is that, because of the loud way in which they go about their business, they are unfortunately representing the religions and doing so very erroneously. Nobody is perfect and all religious people strive to live a good life in order to get to the promised land so when these fools go around giving the seriously religious people a bad name, they are causing others to not take the beliefs seriously! You should not be proving your holiness to anyone but the Creator so why are people stunting with it like it's a Blackberry? You got Trophy Muslims bombing and leading gangs and Leisure Centre Christians thinking that they are better that everyone while f**cking at the back of the church! I mean, do you not fear God?

Just to ensure there is no confusion, I am not saying ALL Muslims or ALL Christians/Born Again behave like this, I am addressing the few that do and I pray that God forgives you for making a mockery of something that is very serious.

Not Rude, Honest...

First Published: May 27, 2011

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