10 THINGS I'VE LEARNED IN 10 YEARS
As this decade is coming to an end, there is a buzz of excitement for what 2020 and the imminent decade will bring. I saw a thread on Twitter by @justinkan about the things he's learned in the past decade and it got me thinking, here is what I've learned.
1. Rejection And Failure Are a Part of Life
I had faced both rejection and failure before 2010 but it was nothing compared to what I faced after. I had to learn to accept it as a part of life which is incredibly hard to do when you've only experienced success and acceptance for the majority of your life. The key is to not let it get to you too much, you are still an amazing and capable person, life is just doing what it does, it's not personal.
2. It's Ok To Change Back
I have always been dedicated to becoming the best version of myself and although I've always loved who I am, I have taken certain criticisms on board and attempted to modify certain aspects of myself. A prime example is my bluntness, I was advised to find a softer, sweeter way to express myself so I attempted it for a while but I found it very taxing and it lead to a lot of miscommunication. Certain people also tried to take me fi eediat so I quickly had to revert back to my direct self and I'm happier for it!
3. Money Comes And Goes
In the past decade I have seen people who have been wealthy all their life, lose everything. I have witnessed finances change drastically for the better after one phone call. I know people who have gone from poor, to rich, to homeless and back to rich again. I say all this to say, money is a necessity and you should enjoy it but don't place your happiness or worth into it, don't be so hell bent on "chasing the bag" that you forget to create valuable connections with less transient aspects of life like family, friends and self. You know what's better than living to make money? Spending it with those you love.
4. It Can Always Be Worse
This decade has been the most trying decade of my life thus far and I can truly say that "What's the worst that could happen?" is beyond your imagination. As hard as it is, just try to count your blessings in every situation and don't tempt the universe to answer that question.
5. Put Your Wellbeing First
I started this decade putting the needs of all those I love before my own. What I learned is that it made them dependent and me burnt out - everybody loses. The healthier way to be a great support to your loved ones is to make sure that helping them does not have a detrimental affect on you and making sure that your needs are also tended to.
6. Violence Is Sometimes The Answer
Listen, I'm of the mindset that civil discourse is often not enough to ignite change so even though I went into this decade with the intention to be a milder, less aggressive version of myself, I soon learned that some people only respond to being handled roughly. Sometimes you just need to put the base in your voice and the South London in your attitude to be taken seriously. I don't make the rules.
7. Just Breathe
Life can be so overwhelming at times and your passion and hunger to chase your dreams will have you unconsciously holding your breath (metaphorically). I've learned to take a break from the hustle and just breathe (literally) as a way to recharge, you’ll be amazed at what taking a deep breath can do to lower your stress levels.
8. You Can’t Do It All Alone
I am very particular, fiercely independent and was blessed with the ability to be skilled in so many ways that I rarely need or trust other people to do things for me. I grew up not learning how to ask for things or trusting others to do things as well as I could so I often handle all things alone. In the past 5 years I've learned to recognise when it is time to share the load and delegate, even if it means that things aren't done exactly to my standards.
9. People Are Trial And Error
As an INTJ personality type, this is the bane of my existence but a necessary evil to curate your tribe and/or business associates. I have learned that very few people can be taken at their word and as such, the only way to ensure you are interacting with like minded individuals is to trial them. Once you find people you can get in formation with (word to Beyoncé!) they are priceless but please be sure to sever ties without hesitation if you find that they are an "error", trust me holding on is not worth it. #NotRudeHonest
10. Your 'Optimum' and 'Doing Your Best' Are Not The Same Thing
This is my most recent lesson. I have always been a high achiever and almost always operate at my optimum. I believed that this was me doing my best and therefore always felt like I was slacking if I felt I was operating at anything less. I recently read a book that highlighted that doing your best doesn't always mean operating at your optimum level but rather, giving all you have even if you don't have much to give and the output is less than your optimum. Going forward I will definitely bear that in mind and be less hard on myself on days where my optimum just isn't possible.
I hope the things I learned can help you too as we embark into this new decade. Please comment, like share and subscribe, I have so many exciting things planned for the new decade and I would love for you to come along for the ride.
To 2020 and beyond! 🍾🥂🥳