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The term 'gold digger' has been flying around for years but what really annoys me is the fact that men are now trying to use it to discourage women from openly stating the fact that they want a man with a huge bank balance!

Credit card

I remember a few years back during one of my university Afro Caribbean Society meetings I stated that I refused to date a broke guy and that the minimum I would expect is a guy that would keep me at the standard I was accustomed to. The reaction I received from the men and some of the dumb ass-licking females tryna get laid (yeah I said it!), you'd think I wanted to re-instate slavery!

You see my thing is this, as a single woman with no children I get my hair done every 3 weeks at quite an expensive hair salon, I get a mani-pedi every fortnight, I travel at least twice a year, I wear clothes that may be deemed expensive by some and I like going out a lot. When you add bills and car insurance, my lifestyle is quite an expensive one BUT I work hard to keep it that way. Now unless I date a guy who is also well paid and can handle his business I will end up having to cover the costs of our being together e.g. if I want to go on holiday and he's broke MY pay cheque will have to cover both of us or if he can't afford to get line rental on his phone MY phone bill will have to increase in order for us to have those long conversation that as women we just love! Getting my drift?

So why is it that because I decided to do the government a favour and start covering my partner's job seeker's allowance, do I have to walk around with a nappy head or cut down on my outings? How fair is that? My solution? Date a guy that has at least enough money to cover himself so I can stay at the standard I am accustomed to. And this was all I was trying to say at that meeting that nearly got me stoned.

Shopping spree

Having said that I do plan to marry a guy that has considerably more money than me (which will be kind of hard when I start making that cardiac surgeon money!) and I refuse to feel ashamed for saying it! Men have started making women feel insecure for wanting a provider which is totally wrong. Men are SUPPOSED to provide for their family so why would a woman with half a brain want to be tied to a man that will make her downgrade from Brazilian hair to synthetic? Even if she doesn't bring in an income but she raises your kids, keeps a clean house, cooks your meals and irons your shirts she's not a gold digger, she's your WIFE!!! She just chose to do those things for the highest bidder and there ain't no shame in that!!!

Family goals

A gold digger is a woman that is only with you for your money, has the cheek to hire a maid and always feed you take away!!! This type of woman will either claim to be infertile throughout your marriage or she will push out the token child that will guarantee her an income when you find out she's sleeping with the mail man, the pool guy AND the gardener! The funny thing is, these females are not hard to spot so please stop trying to make the rest of us feel bad for wanting a well paid husband and an expensive engagement ring! That is all.

Not Rude, Honest.

First Published: Jul 3, 2011

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